Snoop

Thursday was revealing. Some day. Maybe it was Thursday. You said I had left my private email account logged in that evening. You had read my emails. Hmmmmmm....emails to my attorney, emails to my friends........you felt betrayed that I was being honest with people. You thought I was having an affair with my old boyfriend from high school. Being honest isn't the same as having an affair. I almost wish I were having an affair. It would make the vitriol that followed almost worth it.

You went to the desert for the weekend. We had talked about having a yard sale but you said you were coming down with a cold, so we called it off. I wanted to call it off, too. I had too much work to do at school. My progress reports were due the following Friday and they involved a ton of work. Ending the school year is brutal. That's why I had asked you to hold off on decisions and actions about the divorce until the 18th. But you hadn't backed off. Every time we 'agreed' to hold off for two weeks, within hours you were wanting me to 'sit down' with you to make a settlement. That wasn't respite. That wasn't taking two weeks off. That was you trying to circumvent the legal process-----about which I know next to nothing, and wouldn't be able to study until school was out. Oh, you are clever with your timing. How many times in this marriage have you pushed something on me when I was distracted by the demands of something else? It's a clever tactic and it's worked well for you over the years.

From the desert you started with the text messages again. You said you were writing a petition to a judge to have me and my dad removed from the house. You were going to let me read it before you submitted it. Another threat. See if I would buckle under allegations. I wouldn't answer many of your texts. You're manicky; it's not worth the time and effort. You said if I agreed to some things, then you wouldn't file it.

But in messing around on the computer I somehow came across a keystroke tracking program. We had bought it five years ago when we were having trouble with Laura. We had hid it from the desktop and it required a set of strokes to pop it up. I had asked you if we still had it a couple of years ago and you said you couldn't remember the sequence of strokes we needed to do to get it to come up. I had figured it was outdated anyway and didn't give it more thought. But there were all my keystrokes, all my passwords, all my messages, everything I had written over the past couple of weeks. You were spying on me. As soon as you decided you wanted a divorce, you started tracking everything I wrote. Then you took the credit cards out of my purse and photocopied them along with my checkbook. You had gone Spy vs. Spy on me.

I had always known that when you were manicky, or when you were after money, there was nothing you would let in your way. This was not going to be an 'amicable' divorce. You had set me up by trying to act like you wanted to work things out. You were trying to get me to call off my attorney for two weeks while you invaded my privacy. It 's time for this disaster of a marriage to be over and for me to get out from under your control!

I went into work and changed all the passwords to everything. Then I thought maybe you'd lock me out of the house, so when I went to work on Monday morning, I took the keys and the owner's manual to the front door keypad entry system with me. I left one key home for you. I couldn't find the owner's manual to the keypad lock for the backdoor. But I figured with the front door, I'd be able to get in if you were as feral as to change the passcode.