Well, THAT'S Good News

Mother's Day weekend was like a beautiful dream for me. You took me to Agua Caliente out in Palm Desert where Kyle's grandmother gets rooms comped every month. Ours was luxurious with one of the few balconies in the hotel. We were on the seventh floor overlooking the swimming pool. When the sun rose in the morning (on the other side of the hotel, thankfully), we had a breathtaking view of the snow-capped mountains to the west. I tried to take photos of them but they looked hazy. You explained that even though the mountains looked clear and majestic to us, the wind was kicking up a lot of sand and debris in the distance which caused our photos to look fuzzy. You, Kyle and Laura catered to my every whim. It was so unusual that there were times when I felt indecisive. (You're asking me what I want to do? I get to decide?) I truly enjoyed myself. You even humored me while I played nickel slots.

School on the other hand has been a living nightmare. Were it not for seasoned, competent and resourceful administrators, I don't know what I would have done. What I do know is that I wouldn't have been able to survive these past few weeks if my former administrator had been in charge (God rest her soul, no disrespect intended, but I went through it with her once four years ago and she didn't help me at all yet continued to pat herself on the back every time I met with her, telling me how much support she had given me...) This year I have two students who returned from Spring Break having had some sort of trauma. We know the source of one child's trauma, but I think the other child's mother is holding out on telling us the whole story about her son, lying by omission. They are both tantruming and learning from one another. Now they are both throwing furniture and books and destroying property as well as running from the classroom. On Wednesday, B ran out the back gates of the school, down through the neighborhood streets while being chased by five adults. At one point he stopped in a yard and started pulling out the plants, the rain gutters from the house, and the pickets from the fence. The adults wouldn't touch him, the homeowner called the police, the office manager finally picked B up and removed him. The police arrived at school and called the PET. B hasn't been back since then. His mom has summoned her mother from Arizona to come and shadow him for the remainder of the school year. Neither one of these boys wants to be at school. They both want to be at home with their mothers. Neither mother can have that. It's sad. I am sad for them. I set up a behavior system with K but he still has trouble with anger. He brings me an orange domino when he needs to 'cool down' and a red domino when the work I have given him is too hard. We set up a 'cooldown corner' for him in the classroom. When he brings me the orange domino, he is to go to the 'cooldown corner'; when he brings me a red domino, I will go to where he is working and modify the assignment for him. I hope the system works. On Friday I think he unplugged all the computers in the school computer lab. The tech guy came in my room afterward, and the look on his face was heartbreaking; I didn't know what to say or do. I thought my aide and I were watching the kids. Could K have slipped away under the table for a second to unplug everything? I met with the second grade teacher whose class has lab after mine. She helped me think of a way to find out. I will try it tomorrow. We have study team meetings on both these boys next week. I think B needs a special school. I don't know what the PET recommended but I do know that once the police call in PET, it's out of our hands. Flying furniture, ripped-down bulletin boards, angry children, they make me sad. I know it's not about me; they want their mothers, I can never replace their mothers. But I am still sad, and I am frustrated I am not able to help them stop.

On the health front, things are happening. You had a CT scan on Monday. On Wednesday your oncologist told you the tumor is shrinking. The chemo is working. Well THAT's good news! In time you will be able to have the SMA bypass operation to help circulate blood to your intestinal tract. But Saturday you told me the doctor also found a goiter and lesions on your lungs. He said he wasn't worried about either. This doctor doesn't fib. So I guess we should believe him.