Saturday and Sunday with the Kids

Saturday was a beautiful day for me. Oh, how I wish I could have more days like it! I took Rose Marie to breakfast. On our way, we dropped you off at the van so you could drive it home. We had a nice two-hour breakfast at our usual place. I feel so comfortable with her, like I could tell her almost anything.

After breakfast I went for a bike ride at the beach by myself. You were resting and taking more Vicodin. As I drove the van to the marina, I was listening to Live from the Met. This week's broadcast was 'Der Rosenkavalier', the specific scene was the incomparable "Presentation of the Rose". Ethereal, glimmery, other-worldy and one of the best scenes in all opera, listening to it lifted my mind to a lovely place. The weather was perfect. As I rode out the jetty, some pelicans flew along side of me at about eye level. They were big, healthy, beautiful animals flying six-abreast. It took my breath away. Pelicans must be some kind of good omen, a sign to me, I just don't know what. Could they mean happiness?

The day was filled with good times like that, phone calls from friends, visits with two wonderful neighbors and time spent doing whatever I wanted. June called and said that the choir really wanted to do something to help us. I said they could bring dinners a couple of times a week. But later I told you about it and you said not to because you are going to see a special nutritionist on Wednesday and it was possible you wouldn't be able to eat much of what people would bring. Laura and Kyle arrived after 10:30 but I was already in bed.

Sunday morning I got up early and took Dad to church. They prayed specifically for you from the pulpit. In fact, you were the only person mentioned by name. Dad was good until we started driving home. Then he started in on how much he hates the music in church. I told him he was being negative but he said he'd not been negative all during the service. Is it hopeless?

We went for a bike ride with Laura and Kyle. We rode for almost fifty minutes. You and Laura rode the electric bikes while Kyle and I rode the Schwinns. As we rode west into the sun, I started seeing the wavy lines again. This time they were making circular patterns, mimicking the sun which was moving down in toward the horizon. All those wavy lines mimic something in my field of vision. The ones on Friday were mimicking the lines the children had made on their New Year's hats. For a while it felt like I couldn't see out of my right eye and I almost rode off the bike path a couple of times. I was determined not to let a headache start and get the better of me. I spent a lot of time getting food for a birthday dinner but I was in a strange store and I didn't know where things were; Laura said she wanted a nice big juicy steak. It took me a lot of time and I got a couple of phone calls. I bought a new bottle of Aleve while I was there. You waited in the van and I apologized when I came out. You were a little peeved.

We invited Dad for dinner, He behaved but I can tell this new arrangement is a little hard for him. He would never, ever admit it but he likes being the center of attention and having the household revolve around him and his needs. This is tough for him. Again, he'd never, ever admit it but he wants to be in control and doesn't like not being able to control situations with his calm, quiet, doctorly voice. But things are different now, and he's going to have to adjust. These past few days with him have helped me realize how cutting so many of his remarks are, how he tries to disguise them with humor but how really unkind they are at the root. I see how what he says hurts you and Beth and are intolerable to you. I told June. She's known him for over fifty years. She said, "I know how your father's comments can hurt people. He's made me cry sometimes with his remarks".