Office Visits

One of the things that floated past my head was that you wanted to see Susan, the dietitian who miraculously cured my acid reflux in one visit. I had wanted you to see her for over two years----for your heart, your cholesterol, your recent diagnosis of diabetes. I wanted you to hear her talk on eggs, on insulin resistance, on balancing carbs and proteins and staying away from fake foods. We saw her the next day. She is so smart, up-to-date on everything, and knows so much more than her field requires. I am confident there are many things she knows that doctors don't know.

I went with you even though I had a cold. She has such an enthusiasm for her work. She was so encouraging. She didn't treat you like nothing could be done. It was refreshing. There were times during the appointment when I gave into my cold, closed my eyes, felt myself drifting off. And as I dozed, I heard her talk to you about eggs, and I thought, 'I love this part'. Then later she talked about insulin resistance. Again, I thought, 'Ooooooh, I love this one'. It was like hearing favorite bedtime stories again except these stories were secrets I had known for years, and you were finally getting let in on them. You were finally ready to listen to her.


When we left, I think you felt fortified. We shopped for the foods. We had some hope.

Susan referred you to a specialist with whom she does a lot of work. Even though he isn't covered by our insurance, we both felt it was worth it to see him for a second or third opinion. She said she works with a lot of his patients and that he has been having a lot of success with new types of chemo. He specializes in pancreatic cancer.


Thursday brought another kind of visit. It was the appointment with a surgeon through our insurance plan. I had told my coworkers my cold had gotten worse. The surgeon was kind. He spent a lot of time with us. He said he was sorry to meet you under these circumstances. He said they had done a decent job with you in the emergency room. He wouldn't have made the same decisions but, based on what they had known, they had made good educated guesses with the tests they had given you. As far as the CAT scan went, he said you had a good-sized tumor that was wrapping itself around the superior mesenteric artery, the main blood source for the entire intestinal tract, in a location that precluded any surgical options. He said no surgeon would attempt removing that tumor, there was no possibility of bypassing it, and a pancreatectomy would be a complicated and serious operation that would leave you completely insulin-dependent for the rest of your life. In other words, he couldn't offer you much. The slim ray of hope, the one thing we could hope for, would be lymphoma. If the tumor was lymphoma, it would respond to a combination of chemo and radiation. We could hope you had lymphoma. I would pray you had lymphoma. Oh, God, please make it lymphoma. Please give us lymphoma. I pray to God you have lymphoma. Otherwise they could offer you paliative chemo.

The surgeon referred you to a special facility where you are to have an endoscopic ultrasound. They will put a scope in you and then when they get to the tumor, they will aspirate it, take the sample to a lab and have it analyzed. It's a very new procedure. You are scheduled to have it on Thursday. I hope it's lymphoma.

More doctors appointments will follow. I am sure we will get to know our local medical offices quite well. This is only the beginning.