Thursday, February 18

Dad was released from the hospital on Wednesday morning. His heart rate had been abnormally slow because of one of his meds. They decreased the dosage, and the heart rate went back to normal. He is doing well.

We spent a quiet few days with your cold slowly running its course. You have been getting up 5 or 6 times a night lately to urinate, and it bothered you to the point that you made an appointment with a nurse practitioner who did that wonderful gloved-hand check of your prostate before she referred you to a urologist. The urologist did some kind of check-up on you and asked you to try not drinking more than 6 oz. of water after 6pm in the evenings. Maybe that will do the trick. I had noticed that your CT scan results said the dye had not gone as far down as your bladder, so I was worried that you were experiencing some kind of metastasis in that area. The urologist didn't seem to think so. I hope he isn't skipping too quickly over potential dangers.

In my cancer support group I shared that it's hard to celebrate the great news of your latest scan. And I wonder why. It seemed odd that I wasn't rejoicing but others understood. With your diagnosis, reports like this only mean, at best, that you are being given a slight reprieve from the torment of cancer. It means that this will be long. Like a series of storms, you will have some turbulent times and some easy times. This is an easy one. Maybe I can't rejoice because I know how it can turn on us. But we are celebrating our days, and I feel I am laughing and enjoying the small stuff more. I am not getting upset by the little annoyances, the naughty five-year-old behavior or petty differences people have. On some level it's easier to take care of business when I don't sweat it. Like I say, "It's that Nike thing. Just do it."

You spent a whole day talking to medical insurance agents on the phone and filling out papers for Medicare. It is going to be effective in less than two weeks! Can you believe it? You took the AARP supplemental insurance and have a CD of your latest scan to take over to Dr. Rosen at St. John's. Your health is looking good. You have the worst diagnosis of any member of your cancer support group yet you are in the best health of all of them. It's really amazing what's going on.

On Monday I went in to have my annual blood work done. They sent me the results by email and my cholesterol is over 200 again. It's 213. I am going to start taking the grapefruit pectin I bought last year and I'll watch the amounts of fats and sugars I put in my body. I don't know why it jumped up again. I weigh 20 pounds less than I did the last time I had blood work done, and when I did a home cholesterol test in August I got a reading of 145. Color me sad, frustrated and worried about my coronary health.

Today was the 100th day of school. We always make a big deal about it, but it's a complete change in routine and this year's class didn't handle that too well. It was an enjoyable day and the kids had a blast doing all of our activities, but B and S and S and S and K and K lost control of themselves for a while, and the room was a mess. In fact the carpet is really getting on my nerves, and I think I will bring our rug shampooer from home to clean it on Saturday. I can't take it looking like that. And the tables and bookcases are so dirty that I have decided we're going to do shaving cream art on them tomorrow. I spent too much time talking with Caro and Roxie after school so I didn't get my lesson plans written for next week. But I got my progress reports back from the principal who liked them and was wondering why I said Samuelito was late often and the office only have him marked for 5 tardies. Beats me. His dad doesn't sign in and I apparently don't write it down enough. But he's late every day and he doesn't do a lick of work. Being his teacher is a babysitting job and, although I don't think retention is an effective practice, every now and then I come across a child who will benefit from an encore performance in kindergarten, and Samuelito is one of them. The progress reports are in their envelopes and ready to go home. It's a load off of me.

Laura sent me a text message that said all the other students at Marinello's are having their mothers make them aprons, so would I make her one? Of course, I said, and we'd go to Joann's the next time she is here. Tonight I asked her if she was coming this weekend, and she said she didn't think so. I was hoping to get to see her.