First Day on the Stuff

I woke at 5:00 with chemo nightmares. I don't remember the specifics; I just remember having dark scary dreams about IV's filled with toxic liquids. These nightmares, do they foretell our days ahead? Will your life begin to mimic my dreams? How weak, tired and ill will you get?

I arranged for a friend to watch my class so I could leave work 15 minutes early. It was tricky but we managed. How ironic it is that whenever I go hauling out of work at breakneck speed, we end up having to wait an hour. They didn't start hooking you up until 3:00 and then they had to order the bag of Gemstar from the pharmacy. I suppose they save a lot of money that way. Imagine them having all those solutions ready and patients not showing up. I think there's some FDA regulation that says they have to throw it away. When it arrived, the nurse, who was wonderfully kind and informative, told you it might cause a burning sensation as it went in. If so, and if it was really painful, you were to tell her. Ah, but not you. You have a high tolerance to pain. You never get motion sickness. You take DayQuil to go to sleep. You rarely run a fever. Your system is weird. You said it tickled. OK. Works for me not to see you in pain.

But the nurse gave a long talk about nausea, pill-taking, the other chemo drug you take daily in tablet form, preventive nausea meds, and fatigue. If we go to Idaho, you will be fatigued, really fatigued. Tres, tres fatigue. The only complaint she consistently hears is that patients are so tired. She said not to push yourself. Take the plane ride and go to a hotel. We will take the trip in two days. But I still haven't made the reservations. What's my reservation?

We stopped for tacos on the way home. You were working me for sushi but the nurse said no raw meat, fish or eggs while you're on chemotherapy. You will be taking three weeks on chemo and one week off for sixteen weeks. I shall be sushi-ing with my girlfriends for the next four months. Sad for you. I drove right past Miyako.

I went to see Dad at the health care center. It tires me out to run around like that. Carmi came by early this morning and we told you how she and I are prepping Dad to keep the door closed and keep his nose out of your business.