For Friday the 4th

The Wellness Community has given you a place to go and things to do. It is exactly what you need. You have decided you will go to everything during the next couple of weeks to figure out what it is you want to do regularly.

I have been busy working on the inquiry project for mentoring, planning lessons for my own class, meeting with people over various things, and running to see Dad. He isn't happy in the care center but he's not really complaining. He shares a room with a former army colonel, a man who was married but never had any children, who lost his wife last week but lost his mind long before. The man starts each day at 6:00 yelling nonsense. (It's better than playing a bugle....) The space is small, I feel cramped there, Dad feels cramped there. How or when he comes home is not gelling in my mind and I worry I won't be ready for it when they suddenly announce Dad is released. You have already started making noises about putting Dad in a facility near our house, your needs being foremost in your mind now, the need for 'destressing' your life leading the charge. You said you only thought Dad was going to live six months or so when you invited him to live here. You said you have 'given him a year of your life'. You said you never liked him in the first place; we already know that. I just thought you were taking him in because it is the right thing to do. That's what you said back then. We were going to take care of my dad because he had always been supportive and helpful to me. We were going to model for our daughter how we wanted to be treated in our old age. Well, I guess that one is moot now for you, so why bother modeling for the kid? I'm the only one who might need to be cared for and right now I don't feel like my needs matter. How you are changing your tune, as my mom used to say. You are grasping for reasons to get him out. I just think it's wrong. As far as I'm concerned ---or compared to me, let's say----you don't have any stress in your life. You don't work, you don't pay bills, you don't have to give me a penny of your Social Security check, you don't cook unless you want to, you don't pick up after yourself, you don't clean, not even before you had cancer. When this all started I said the only thing that would push me over the edge would be if I had to run to a facility to see Dad and deal with you and my job as well. Now guess what you're trying to do......always standing around stop signs. Always pushing your agenda. I'm sorry I can't feel sympathy for your need to 'destress' while ramping my stress into the red zone. I am angry.