We thought today would be the day we would get the results of your biopsies. I jammed over to the hospital after my meetings, hoping to get to your room before the doctor. You still had the NG tube, J tube and all the other alphabet tubes in you. The doctor had been in in the morning. He was currently in surgery.
I told you that since people were finding out that we were coming up for Thanksgiving, there were some people who were inviting us over to get together. I was excited thinking that I was finally going to get to blend my old life with my new. After all the time on Facebook and at the Reunion, the people I knew in high school would get to know you. You said you didn't think you would want to socialize with anyone. I could go see them if I wanted, you didn't want to go with me. I was crushed. I didn't know what to say. It might be their only chance to meet you! You said I'd just have to understand. I don't. The light is out in your eyes, and has been since your original diagnosis. I think you have given up. A couple of weeks ago you told me you were tired of living a life where you were fighting the disease you've had since you were a teenager. You felt that knowing your life is ending was almost a relief, the cancer is giving you a way out. But don't give up completely. Make these last days meaningful and positive! Leave me and Laura with happy memories, and meet the people who will be my friends and my lifelines after you're gone.
Laura, too, has noticed that you have given up. She was afraid this was going to happen. That's why she told you not to give up when you first told her you had this cancer. She will call you and talk to you about it-----about your giving up and about how you are taking out a lot of your anger on my dad. What can we do to help you make the most of whatever time you have left?
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