Monday, November 30

As November ends, I can't help but wonder if this is the last November you'll have. What a strange feeling that is. I have always come to the end of a month without giving a moment's thought to whether or not I'll ever see that month again. Have you thought of that?

Today was the day you were supposed to give your working dog away. I had arranged for Carmi to drive with you in case you got tired for some reason. We brought the dog in last night, and you ended up leaving me in the bedroom with the dog while you slept in the middle bedroom. That animal woke me up twice during the night trying to get out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. By morning you had realized you couldn't give him away. It would have been like taking a part of you. Your initial altruism was being supplanted by your own needs. What had started as a desire to do what was best for the dog was now changing. The dog helps you, so he will stay. The woman who is taking him understood completely and will take him whenever you are willing to let him go. After all, she is a nurse.

I convinced Dad's doctor to put him in the care center where he was last year. It took all day to get the placement, but he will be there for a while and Carmi will go there to be with him every day. She will work shortened hours; we'll figure it out.

Principal J asked to talk to me today. I wondered if I was in trouble or if he was going to ask me to do something, He just wanted me to know that he knew about you. People are passing around the news. I know they think they are acting in my best interests but I feel uncomfortable about it. J said he wanted to be supportive of me during this time. I thanked him. We spoke for a long time. I told him about Dad. He was stunned. I worked with Caro on BTSA, the one thing that could slip through the cracks if I don't get back on the stick.

D's sister had recommended a place in Mexico she had heard about on some news broadcast. It's a place where people go to get 'detoxed'; I hope it's not one of those places that takes your money and promises you the moon. What we don't need is a snake oil salesman. I put some emails out to people asking if they had heard about this place. I am worried we'll get put in a position where we are getting taken advantage of by swindlers but going ahead and doing it because we don't want to miss out on the 'cure'.