Very D Day

Today I awoke fully aware that I had passed the major portion of my flu. I wondered how you were feeling and if your future would hold days of feeling 'weller'. As I had promised Dad, I went to the doctor, actually a nurse practitioner. That meant bathing, an absolute necessity, since I hadn't done that since Saturday, which far-exceeded my two-day bathing limit. As soon as I sat down in the waiting room and started to read my book, I had a terrible coughing jag and had to go into the hall. I don't know if it was because they heard me or because it was my turn, but the nurse came to the hall to fetch me and ushered me into an exam room. As expected, she heard nothing in my chest and my lymph glands were now fine. She gave me some codeinated cough syrup but it doesn't work quite as well as my NyQuil, at least not for helping me get sleep. However, she did say it would help me get constipated. Oh, boy!

I called you after I returned. You sounded 'up' and were very concerned about my health. You wanted to know if I was still contagious but the NP had said I no longer was. I was feeling much better and was improving by the minute. Your endoscopy had gone well, at least as far as you knew, and you were hoping to get clearance to come home tomorrow. Finally! You will be using a J tube and will bring a fancy machine to monitor it and nourish you. You expected that the doctor would have to spend quite some time with you explaining and checking out the machine. They will send you home with cans of the 'nourishment' and you will get to start trying clear chicken broth.

Then you paused. You had more news. You hadn't told me yesterday because I had been so ill and feverish. The lab results had come in and they are positive for pancreatic cancer. Not a rare form. Just common pancreatic cancer. The oncologist had already come in and introduced herself to you. She knew of the big mucky muck and seemed to have some very good ideas for your treatment. You felt very good about her and her currency with pancreatic cancer chemo treatments. That made me feel confident in her too. I am beyond stunned at this point and will continue to do whatever is necessary to make your time as pleasant as possible. We can now make a plan. Sort of.