Finally Friday

I am so glad I have had minimum days at work this week. The conferences are a joy, and I have felt I have real maturity and relaxed confidence as I have run them. I think my mood has relaxed the parents as well. Work is a blessing. Now I think I have struck a balance between my commitment to work and my desire to be at home. I don't think I can do one or the other right now. Work can be such a much-needed departure for me. The intensity my class demands precludes me dwelling on anything else. It breathes new life into me. You need me to have it, too.

My union rep investigated the possibility of me taking a leave. I can do it, and the district will continue my health coverage but the leave would be without pay. As the only wage-earner, this is not a practicality until your health dictates it. I believe there will come a point in time when I will have to take this kind of leave somewhere between now and June. Just to be sure I'm available for you in July and August, I will not take a summer school position.

I have missed three Leadership Team meetings at work now. As one was approaching on Monday, Principal J came to the K teachers complaining that I was going to be absent for yet another one. (I didn't know about it anyway, or I would have notified someone.) The way they described his attitude put me in some discomfort. My early years with this man were not the most positive in nature, and I didn't want to go back to him seeing me as 'unreliable' or something of that sort. I decided to share your condition with the other interim principal. It was a calculated risk but turned out to be the right choice. She then shared with me that she had had breast cancer four years ago, so she knows the drill. She got me out of any non-essential obligations I have, including the Leadership Team. The discussion greatly relieved me. Today Clara came up and said she had found out about you. She said something loving and my eyes welled up. Again, I was caught off-guard. Part of that was because I just miss Clara so much, and having her both back at work and then say something caring to me, got me emotional.

Your friend brought over hot pastrami sandwiches this afternoon. I don't know how that came about, but you could eat about two bites, minus the rye. I was pleased he came by because he has trouble with illness tending to greet it with a heavy helping of denial. This was a kind gesture on his part signaling that your illness, perhaps, will jolt him into reality.

We are readjusting to having you at home. I am sleeping in the middle bedroom because you are up and down so much during the night, and your machine is noisy when you have to connect yourself for some nourishment. We did, however, watch some tv in bed together.